The night before my flight to Holland I received an email asking if I wanted to check in online. Why not? As I clicked through the site I noticed an option to upgrade my seat to "Preferred Seating" for only $59. They advertised extended leg room and more recline. Why not? For a mere $60 I can sleep like a baby on this once in a lifetime solo flight. I happily splurged and was super excited about my new Preferred status. With a peaceful vision like this, who wouldn't?
Check out the guy on the left and then the woman behind him. Look at her smug face. She's thinking "Na Na Na Boo Boo! I have more room than you! SUCKA!"
As I boarded the plane, I honestly began to worry as I made my way to my row. I was seated at the window with an Austrailian man. I knew instantly I had been scammed! I fumbled over his lap and got situated. Quickly I realized that we were all packed in like sardines. Damn, if this is "Preferred Seating" I would hate to see what the losers in the regular seats looked like. 
As we made our way across two continents, I tossed and turned desperately trying to get just somewhat comfy. Even my trusty feather pillow failed me. After about 6 hours, I tapped my seat-mate on the shoulder, waking him from his apparent coma, so I could stretch my legs and hang out in the closet sized potty for no reason other to regain my personal space. With an hour left in the flight I couldn't fight the sand man any longer and finally dozed off. I looked like this: 
The moral to this story is if it seems too good to be true then it probably is. I hope to convince you all not to fall for Delta's attempt to steal more money from us, whether it's for extra baggage, extra leg room or extra comfort. Those bastards owe my $60 and I intend to get it back. Even if it that means stuffing 60 bags of stale pretzels in my carry on.
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